Friday, August 26, 2005

Oooooh, My Aching Back!

Mrs. Boyd was a family friend, way back in the "good old days"-

Visiting over at Greenie's recently, I see that Nick is about to have back surgery for the second time!

This brings to mind my own back surgery back in September 2001.

Surgery was scheduled about one week after the infamous September 11 attack, and I arrived early at Stanford Hospital. News cameras, and hundreds of people wandering about in front of the hospital seemed a little odd.

I seriously doubted this extravaganza was due to the fact that former San Francisco Giant Willie McCovey was having surgery just ahead of me.

Nope, it was a bomb scare.

Hours later, when we were finally allowed inside after sitting in the hot sun, I was dehydrated since I wasn't allowed food or drink since the previous evening.
I was hooked up to an IV almost immediately, and the surgery, although later than planned, went ahead.

I had been told I'd be spending at least one night in the hospital, and due to the late surgery, it looked as if it might be a two night stay... something I really didn't want to do.

I decided to get walking, and prove I was doing fine. I buzzed the nurse and told him I had to get up, and when he saw I could walk, he allowed me the pleasure.

Like a ghost in a backless gown I wandered the hallways (never coming upon Willie McCovey or anyone else.)

During one of my bed rests and a most welcome shot of Demerol my new roommate arrived. She was much older than myself, and had just had neck surgery. She slept on throughout my roaming in and out of the room.

Back in our room, about 4am., my roomie awoke. Still out of it, the nurse on duty propped her up at a small table at the end of her bed with an early breakfast of juice and oatmeal.

Then the nurse leaves...

I'm observing her head, bobbing and weaving like a drunk at closing time when I see her drop face first into her bowl of oatmeal.

She's not reacting at all.

I'm getting up, buzzing the nurse as I do so. Somehow I lifted and wiped her face while trying to keep her neck as straight as possible. Thank goodness she was a thin woman. She was still breathing!

But no nurse has arrived, and no footsteps are coming down the hall.

Here's the funny part... picture Ms. Back Surgery holding up Ms. Neck Surgery. I was able to twist around somehow and get the phone with my right foot. Thank goodness for touchtone, because I used my toe to call the front desk!

"Hello... I need a nurse in here immediatley... blah, blah, blah. Yes I tried the buzzer! My back is hurting bad, send someone NOW!"

Within a minute or two, nurses came running. Right behind them was my roommate's neurosurgeon... and he was totally pissed off!

As a thank you, I was given an extra shot of Demerol. I needed it.

When my own surgeon arrived several hours later, he'd already heard the tale.

I was released by noon.

My roomie and her daughter thanked me profusely as I was leaving.

Was I a hero? No. But if you're ever drowning in a bowl of oatmeal, just call me, I know what to do.

Better yet, order the fruit bowl.

28 Comments:

Blogger SoozieQ said...

Too funny SB. Man you really CAN do it all, huh? Not only can you stop rolling cars from hitting Mr. SB (while wearing a sun dress and no undies) but you can save oatmeal drowning, bobble heads!?!

You ARE my hero!

12:23 PM  
Blogger SierraBella said...

soozieq-
Come to think of it, I wasn't wearing undies when I performed drownus interruptus oatmealus either...

That's the key!

12:28 PM  
Blogger jac said...

SB
I am at my desk with my poor face in a bowl of apricots, SOS...SOS. Would you help a poor soul from drowning, undies or no undies...No pun intended.

1:02 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

I'm announcing to Mr. E this very day that I'm giving up on undies because someday if heroism is needed, I want to be ready! He's going to be very happy to hear this, I'm sure. *heh heh*



ps. And because this is so appropriate to my comment, I'm going to tell you that the first 3 letters of my word verification are: eww! Honest! It's like the very computer itself knows what I'm saying....

1:16 PM  
Blogger SierraBella said...

jac-
Sorry, but I only do oatmeal rescues!
I'm willing to try, though. Can you hold you breath for a day or so?

eclectic
Not to mention the money you'll save by not buying new undies!

My current word verification ends with tit! This is 'kinda' scary now...

1:39 PM  
Blogger Romani Heart said...

OMG That's hillarious, and scary all at the same time.

2:23 PM  
Blogger SierraBella said...

romani heart-
Yeah, I didn't find it terribly funny as it was happening, but I figured I was in the right place just in case I injured by back again!

2:45 PM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

Now you have my curious....I'm going to post a comment JUST to see what my letters are.

Nothing to exciting....although at first glance I thought it was

tanfly but it's actually tqnfly. I thought "tanfly" would be an appropriate ode to the "naked sunbather" SierraBella :-)

4:53 PM  
Blogger cheesecakey said...

you sure know how to tell a story! Thank god you were there....

I think an extra shot of Demerol was a very nice thank you - it should be given more often ;)

6:12 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

Good going! And you do tell a good story.

7:09 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

OMG, back surgery and you're rescuing a woman with neck surgery from drowning in oatmeal. Hon, you are something else. Yes, you are a hero.

So, are you telling me that if I give up undies that I can be Wonder Woman? I never wear bracelets but I would wear the kind that she does.

7:42 PM  
Blogger Sylvana said...

Great story and so well told. I would give up my undies, but I was just expounding their cutness today. I love them so!

Why would the nurse leave a neck surgery patient sitting up on her own? That's crazy!

8:06 PM  
Blogger jac said...

I can't .. I can't, for this bowl with this apricots are stolen from my boss, I have to consume it before I choke to death... would rather loose my breath if you don't rescue.

9:56 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

I haven't REALLY loved a pair of panties since the late 70s. I had a turquoise pair with large pink roses, AND a little tiny zipper up the front AND a little tiny bell hanging from the zipper. So YES! I will join this movement. I will discard all my undies and become a hero like you!

11:07 PM  
Blogger Rae Ann said...

Yet another account of horrible hospital service! I'm glad everything ended up okay.

7:27 AM  
Blogger SierraBella said...

soozieq-
Y'know I noticed an awful lot of "Qs" in the word verifications.
I feel bad having to turn it on and making commenters go through yet another step, but the spam was getting to be too much!

cheesecakey-
Thank you!
I agree that Demerol should be given more freely. The nurses really were most generous with the shots during that hospital stay (when they were around!)

kat-
Thank you so much!

squirl-
No matter what, I couldn't allow somebody to drown in oatmeal... it's just not right!
I'm really thinking goin' commando is the trick.

sylvana-
Well thank you!
I still don't understand why that nurse just left that poor lady propped up... and then disappeared.
I'm guessing she was fired, or at least disciplined.

jac-
Sorry- I fell asleep and totally forgot to come to your rescue!
Hope your boss didn't find out about the stolen apricots.

susie-
OMG, I also had a pair of undies with a teeny tiny zipper in the front back in the 70s.
Hmmm... your Super Hero name could be Psuper PsychoTherapist!

rae ann-
Other than that incident the hospital stay was great. Yeah...
Other than that Mrs Lincoln, how was the play?

10:27 AM  
Blogger SoozieQ said...

Heh heh heh...one of your Adsense things says "Grandma Sweatshirts"....are those like "Grannie Panties" or do they actually have pictures of Grandmas ON the sweatshirts? What if you don't like the Grandma picture they put on it?

Your letters are getting LONGER...I had to type this to leave my comment

mtsbpotc

1:27 PM  
Blogger SierraBella said...

soozieq-
Did you notice the Grandma sweatshirt ad says new and used?
Ewwwww.
I'm not allowed to click on my ads, but not really that interested in it anyway.

2:25 PM  
Blogger Nina said...

Wow, you are a hero . . . truly . . . and you do know how to tell a story. I am sure it wasn't funny then but today it was really funny.
Okay this word verification gave me, zdokvbnf . . . that is not a word. :)

9:28 AM  
Blogger SierraBella said...

nanina-
Naw....

I believe that zdokvbnf is either a Vodka brand, or someone from the planet Zdok?

10:52 AM  
Blogger Kitty said...

That was you I just sent an e-mail to - right? :)

Squirl and I were just saying how much more professional and tactful we are without bras on... we're going to have to try the undies idea too. Super Kitty and Wonder Squirl with whiplash boobies.

God forbid I ever take my socks off... could turn into a high priestess. No, really, the fumes might really get me high.

12:33 PM  
Blogger jac said...

And I am dead. Poor me.

1:02 PM  
Blogger SierraBella said...

kitty-
Yep it was me!

I feel underwear is overrated...
unless that's all you're wearing.

I'm starting a new organization:

Forget
Underwear (and go)
Commando (and)
Kick (some butt!)

1:06 PM  
Blogger SierraBella said...

jac-
Oops, sorry!
Nobody is perfect!

1:08 PM  
Blogger Kitty said...

Where do I apply for my membership card?

6:56 PM  
Blogger SierraBella said...

kitty-
I'm going to have to work on that!

7:02 PM  
Blogger Greenthumb said...

Sorry for the slow attention to the posts. Lot going on in Greenie land. This post totally made my morning. I love it!

10:41 AM  
Blogger SierraBella said...

greenie-
I can see why you're busy right now!
Hope Nick's hospital stay is quieter than mine was. Glad you enjoyed!

11:20 AM  

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